THIS WOMAN OF FAITH

Did you know that hurting people hurt people... take a while to let that sink.. any one who has been hurt knowingly or unknowingly hurts others either by shutting them out,venting out frustrations on them or by out rightly doing or saying things that end up hurting another person...a vicious circle eh. This revelation was what did it for me... The only way I could embrace change was understand why I had to change not just for me..But for my dad..He was hurting...and I was hurting too The moment I began to see things in that light..the easier it was for me to begin the process. I wanted things to be different,I wanted the loving father daughter relationship I wanted peace at home...and only God's intervention could change the way things where. I remember at that point praying for help and it felt like God was saying are you ready to let me in..to allow me remake you like the potter repairs a marred clay...yes I cried over and over again and He said very well then..Le...

In the early hours of the morning,just as I was all cuddled up and enjoying the sweetness of my restful sleep...I was jolted back to reality by what sounded like my ring tone...yes..it was indeed my phone ringing... Who is calling me at this time I thought..It was 4am UK time.. yes who could have been calling..I knew too well who... My Father....Just as he had called a week ago...and the week before! It was an all too familiar ritual..the early morning calls... "Stella babe...how are you,just wanted to find out how you guys are doing.." Thinking about it now brings a big smile to my face..He would call each of his children.. one after the other,just to say hello.. A friend noted while talking about my dad of how fond we are of each other,yes I love my dad..He is a great and loving Father. As I look back at how the years have made our relationship stronger...I also remember a time when I truly hated my dad...a time when we didn't have much of a relationship ...

As I struggled to sit in silence there was a war going on in my mind.... I went through over and over again the events of the past days and a wave of emotion overcame me I would see no reason,honestly the thoughts that went through my mind were not lovely at all, I remembered the tom and Jerry cartoon where you had the devil and angel whispering to tom...one trying to get him to do something mean to Jerry while the other trying to discourage evil..it all sounds a bit funny now but honestly at that moment it was no joke.. I struggled not to give in to my emotions..I struggled...( there is always a way of escape) This one was simply Silence... I remembered what I wrote a few months back about the open market and the same scenario was replaying over again... one can not underestimate the power of your mind.. the thoughts you allow to take root don't only affect you but every one around you.. A little misunderstanding..... that is what it was but it would have led to so...

How strong are you.... Is strength measured by physical attributes,how tall,muscular and powerful a person is... Is it measured by mental prowess,your accomplishments,your degrees and certificates.. Is it measured by your association and the people you have at your command... What truly qualifies you as strong.. as I walked through the corridors of my work place these were the thoughts that plagued my mind.. what does it mean to be strong..who is a strong person.. and as I thought about it..I began to see ...the true definition of strength I saw the man and woman who refused to give up on his dreams but pursue It because He believed God that no matter how many times he had failed..He was a success waiting to happen.. I saw that girl who dared to be different,to walk in dignity and chastity even though every one thought her to be old fashioned.. I saw the Mother who refused to give up on her straying Husband or child..who kept confessing and speaking that He would be all th...

I recently had a long conversation with one of my big sisters and as we talked and shared she asked me a question relating to something I had been talking about for a while but had not yet done.. what are you waiting for she asked, As I stammered my way through  her question I replied'' I am still building my faith'' as impressive as I thought it sounded I realised in itself how silly my reply was.. and then it dawned on me.. I was afraid..it was fear speaking not faith.. my reply as spiritual as it sounded was so fickle I was afraid of the what ifs what if it didn't work out.. what if ..... too many what ifs plaguing my mind.. and thankfully she could sense my fears and she rebuked me.. and in an instant I knew God was speaking to me.. I knew I needed to hear the truth, I had spent so much time listening to all the voices speaking in my head and now it was time to focus on what was true.. If God has said it..that's all I need It is time t...

I really can not believe that it is nearly 6 months Since our precious little angel went to be with the lord I miss her so much .....We all do. Loosing a loved one is really hard and difficult And some days I so want to close my eyes,open them And have everything return back to normal I want to see my baby smile and sing back to me Some nights I turn and toss in bed praying that God Would fill the void in my heart and answer all my unmuttered Questions Some days I cry with no tears falling..other days my heart just aches I look back and I can truly say that for every time my heart has bled God has been there to steady my heart...He understands that it is ok to grieve And I constantly feel his love and his word urging me on. God has said he would help me through this  and I acknowledge that I need every bit of his help and grace. I recently spoke to an aquintance who is still grieving the loss of a loved one after 3 years And my heart was filled with so much compa...

I remember the first time..I looked across the hall and truly noticed him...(Abi My husband I mean) there was just something about him and even though we never really spoke much to each other  I remember telling my friend ko that I knew that we would end up being very good friends. . I remember when we got married. .all we had was the firm belief that we were going to be truly happy together. .with little savings..no jobs. .we took the plunge Judging God faithful to sustain us. I look back with so much gratitude. .God  has indeed been faithful. . surrounding us with favour as a shield... I am most grateful for the love we share... A love that grows stronger and sweeter each year.... A preacher once asked. ..Can God trust you with trouble and this made me reflect deeply. .. I look at the troubles that have plagued our marriage and am so grateful that it has made us better not bitter.. I remember consciously telling myself that I would enjoy my marriage rather th...