Did you know that hurting people hurt people...
take a while to let that sink..
any one who has been hurt knowingly or unknowingly hurts others
either by shutting them out,venting out frustrations on them or by out rightly
doing or saying things that end up hurting another person...a vicious circle eh.
This revelation was what did it for me...
The only way I could embrace change was understand why I had to change
not just for me..But for my dad..He was hurting...and I was hurting too
The moment I began to see things in that light..the easier it was for me to
begin the process.
I wanted things to be different,I wanted the loving father daughter relationship
I wanted peace at home...and only God's intervention could change the way things where.
I remember at that point praying for help and it felt like God was saying are you ready to let
me in..to allow me remake you like the potter repairs a marred clay...yes I cried over and over again
and He said very well then..Let the process Begin..these are a few of the classes I went through in my journey of change.
I remember the very 1st lesson was going through the FORGIVENESS CLASS...
Forgive ?........why should I be the one to forgive..I struggled with this for months..the longer I disobeyed the longer my stay in this class.I had to forgive daddy for all the things He did and did not do...not only that I had to start remembering things differently since it was hard for me to forget,I had to see things through eyes of love and mercy and make excuses for him..this was the hardest class and it was a continuous assignment,Forgive daily.
THE PILLOW CLASS..remember I said I had a sharp tongue and I was hot headed and rude..my greatest change was going to be holding back and not talking back at my dad..
I couldn't keep quiet..
it didn't matter who was right or wrong...so the lord had to take me through the pillow class,every time there was a quarrel brewing and every time I felt the urge to respond in my usual brash manner
I would go to my room and scream under my pillow...that really helped,slowly and gradually I learnt how to bite my tongue and shut up..and before I spoke I had to revise what I wanted to say in my head and many times
I ended up not saying them because I knew too well what would happen.
and then the EXPECTATION CLASS..I was to give love and respect and expect nothing back,I was to keep working at myself and not expect a commendation.....and this was really tough
I was trying so hard,doing things without being told,getting back home before curfew,performing chores I would struggle to do before,but not even a thank you or well done..
give and expect nothing back was the assignment in this class,not so easy I must say..
and then I had to have a picture of what I wanted and hold on to it regardless of how long it took
to get there...God had to work on my mentality..I had to accept that great relationships existed
and the fact that there were many negative testimonies of parents around me didn't mean that mine wasn't going to be different.. Things could change,I had to believe that and confess that,
so I stopped talking about how terrible my dad was and I started confessing that He was different.
Now the fact that you have decided to change does not necessarily mean that automatically the other person in question would change at the same time..
This whole process takes time..but the beauty in all of this is that..change can be perceived,it can be seen..when you are wrapped up in your world of change,things and people around you begin to change especially when God is involved..
I remember one of the very first miracles I Experienced in my relationship with my dad..
God laid it in my heart to pray for Him so I decided to pray at midnight for 3 days,it was a weekend
and he was away..so I was home alone...I prayed earnestly and I prayed as I was led by the holy spirit
Dad got back on Mon and we barely said much to each other..
Tuesday morning 5am...I hear a knock on my door..dad wants to speak to me...we head outside
in the cool of the morning that has not even dawned,My father apologies for everything he had said and done,He ensues for peace,and he blesses me.
I never thought it could happen so soon...while I focused on changing me..God worked on my father's heart,I stood in disbelief,God was truly amazing.
While I changed and began to obey and honour him God played his part..changing my dad
As I gave love...My dad responded to love..there was still work to be done
but this was evidence that indeed,things could get better between us..
When I saw the effect of my decision to change me..I was determined not to stop there
but to go all the way...I decided to love much more,pray more and give more.....
Where there times the old me showed up,yes..but I didn't dwell there,I remembered who I had become and what I wanted and I kept pressing on.
Where there times we had arguments and disagreements,yes but I had learnt how to season my words with salt and speak in love...
where there times the memories of our past resurfaced yes...but the reality of our present was stronger than the past...
Today..I see how changed my dad is..How loving,kind and selfless He is...
How He treats my younger ones,How he loves and worries over His children
and I wonder....what If I had not changed..
I also wonder what if I had grown to be a woman with all the anger and aggression in me..
What if I had not allowed God get rid of all the negative habits and character flaws...
who and what would I be Today....
Relationships are what fighting for..and God is in the ministry of restoring and reconciling
whether we like it or not...relationships have a strong impact on us and they make or mare
us....
The steps I went through to change can apply to any relationship;father/daughter
son/mother/,husband/wife,brother/sister of even in mere friendship
and regardless of how bad a relationship is believe me...things can get better
Desire a change and be the change and with God...you would sing a different song.
God bless you.
Would love to hear from you...please feel free to drop a comment or ask a question..
you can also send a personal message through email to thiswomanoffaith@yahoo.com
take a while to let that sink..
any one who has been hurt knowingly or unknowingly hurts others
either by shutting them out,venting out frustrations on them or by out rightly
doing or saying things that end up hurting another person...a vicious circle eh.
This revelation was what did it for me...
The only way I could embrace change was understand why I had to change
not just for me..But for my dad..He was hurting...and I was hurting too
The moment I began to see things in that light..the easier it was for me to
begin the process.
I wanted things to be different,I wanted the loving father daughter relationship
I wanted peace at home...and only God's intervention could change the way things where.
I remember at that point praying for help and it felt like God was saying are you ready to let
me in..to allow me remake you like the potter repairs a marred clay...yes I cried over and over again
and He said very well then..Let the process Begin..these are a few of the classes I went through in my journey of change.
I remember the very 1st lesson was going through the FORGIVENESS CLASS...
Forgive ?........why should I be the one to forgive..I struggled with this for months..the longer I disobeyed the longer my stay in this class.I had to forgive daddy for all the things He did and did not do...not only that I had to start remembering things differently since it was hard for me to forget,I had to see things through eyes of love and mercy and make excuses for him..this was the hardest class and it was a continuous assignment,Forgive daily.
THE PILLOW CLASS..remember I said I had a sharp tongue and I was hot headed and rude..my greatest change was going to be holding back and not talking back at my dad..
I couldn't keep quiet..
it didn't matter who was right or wrong...so the lord had to take me through the pillow class,every time there was a quarrel brewing and every time I felt the urge to respond in my usual brash manner
I would go to my room and scream under my pillow...that really helped,slowly and gradually I learnt how to bite my tongue and shut up..and before I spoke I had to revise what I wanted to say in my head and many times
I ended up not saying them because I knew too well what would happen.
and then the EXPECTATION CLASS..I was to give love and respect and expect nothing back,I was to keep working at myself and not expect a commendation.....and this was really tough
I was trying so hard,doing things without being told,getting back home before curfew,performing chores I would struggle to do before,but not even a thank you or well done..
give and expect nothing back was the assignment in this class,not so easy I must say..
and then I had to have a picture of what I wanted and hold on to it regardless of how long it took
to get there...God had to work on my mentality..I had to accept that great relationships existed
and the fact that there were many negative testimonies of parents around me didn't mean that mine wasn't going to be different.. Things could change,I had to believe that and confess that,
so I stopped talking about how terrible my dad was and I started confessing that He was different.
Now the fact that you have decided to change does not necessarily mean that automatically the other person in question would change at the same time..
This whole process takes time..but the beauty in all of this is that..change can be perceived,it can be seen..when you are wrapped up in your world of change,things and people around you begin to change especially when God is involved..
I remember one of the very first miracles I Experienced in my relationship with my dad..
God laid it in my heart to pray for Him so I decided to pray at midnight for 3 days,it was a weekend
and he was away..so I was home alone...I prayed earnestly and I prayed as I was led by the holy spirit
Dad got back on Mon and we barely said much to each other..
Tuesday morning 5am...I hear a knock on my door..dad wants to speak to me...we head outside
in the cool of the morning that has not even dawned,My father apologies for everything he had said and done,He ensues for peace,and he blesses me.
I never thought it could happen so soon...while I focused on changing me..God worked on my father's heart,I stood in disbelief,God was truly amazing.
While I changed and began to obey and honour him God played his part..changing my dad
As I gave love...My dad responded to love..there was still work to be done
but this was evidence that indeed,things could get better between us..
When I saw the effect of my decision to change me..I was determined not to stop there
but to go all the way...I decided to love much more,pray more and give more.....
Where there times the old me showed up,yes..but I didn't dwell there,I remembered who I had become and what I wanted and I kept pressing on.
Where there times we had arguments and disagreements,yes but I had learnt how to season my words with salt and speak in love...
where there times the memories of our past resurfaced yes...but the reality of our present was stronger than the past...
Today..I see how changed my dad is..How loving,kind and selfless He is...
How He treats my younger ones,How he loves and worries over His children
and I wonder....what If I had not changed..
I also wonder what if I had grown to be a woman with all the anger and aggression in me..
What if I had not allowed God get rid of all the negative habits and character flaws...
who and what would I be Today....
Relationships are what fighting for..and God is in the ministry of restoring and reconciling
whether we like it or not...relationships have a strong impact on us and they make or mare
us....
The steps I went through to change can apply to any relationship;father/daughter
son/mother/,husband/wife,brother/sister of even in mere friendship
and regardless of how bad a relationship is believe me...things can get better
Desire a change and be the change and with God...you would sing a different song.
God bless you.
Would love to hear from you...please feel free to drop a comment or ask a question..
you can also send a personal message through email to thiswomanoffaith@yahoo.com
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