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Showing posts from October, 2013

baby steps...

I recently had a long conversation with one of my big sisters and as we talked and shared she asked me a question relating to something I had been talking about for a while but had not yet done.. what are you waiting for she asked, As I stammered my way through  her question I replied'' I am still building my faith'' as impressive as I thought it sounded I realised in itself how silly my reply was.. and then it dawned on me.. I was afraid..it was fear speaking not faith.. my reply as spiritual as it sounded was so fickle I was afraid of the what ifs what if it didn't work out.. what if ..... too many what ifs plaguing my mind.. and thankfully she could sense my fears and she rebuked me.. and in an instant I knew God was speaking to me.. I knew I needed to hear the truth, I had spent so much time listening to all the voices speaking in my head and now it was time to focus on what was true.. If God has said it..that's all I need It is time t

living beyond my grief

I really can not believe that it is nearly 6 months Since our precious little angel went to be with the lord I miss her so much .....We all do. Loosing a loved one is really hard and difficult And some days I so want to close my eyes,open them And have everything return back to normal I want to see my baby smile and sing back to me Some nights I turn and toss in bed praying that God Would fill the void in my heart and answer all my unmuttered Questions Some days I cry with no tears falling..other days my heart just aches I look back and I can truly say that for every time my heart has bled God has been there to steady my heart...He understands that it is ok to grieve And I constantly feel his love and his word urging me on. God has said he would help me through this  and I acknowledge that I need every bit of his help and grace. I recently spoke to an aquintance who is still grieving the loss of a loved one after 3 years And my heart was filled with so much compassio