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Hmmmmmmmmmm

Hmmmm....

Waking up each day to the reality of the past few days
has been the hardest thing I have had to do in my life lately
Waking up to the reality that my precious little daughter
wouldn't be staring at me through her pine cot...
waking up to the reality that the smiles and coos
I love so much would only be a part of my memory now.
waking up to the reality that after 16 months,
I would forever miss those big brown eyes
and questioning but loving gaze.

Losing a child is pretty hard
but the hardest part is letting go...
The hardest part is accepting God's will
The hardest part is trusting that God has a purpose
and plan in all of it.

A day before my daughter passed a way
I blogged about being thankful
and not letting the devil steal my joy..
believe me child of God...I wake up every day determined
to praise through my pain,and sing through my tears
It is hard but it is a choice
I choose to trust the one who knows it all
I choose to sing even when the words refuse to form
I choose to dance even in the rain
and smile with tears streaming down my face..
It is a conscious effort..
It is a choice.

God loves me,He cares about me..
His thoughts towards me are good and not evil
and He would bring me to an expected end.
He didn't promise that I wouldn't have storms..
He promised never to leave me...
He said when I go through mighty waters
I would not be drowned...
He didn't say I won't go through fire..He said I would
but I wouldn't be burnt.
So as I let go in stillness and quietness
His peace and love envelops me
His word and spirit comforts me

Though the fig tree does not bud
 and there are no grapes on the vines,
though the olive crops fails and the fields produce no food,
though there are no sheep in the pen and no cattle in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the lord,
I will be joyful in God my saviour Habk 3 17-19(NIV)

Yes I know .....even when it doesn't make sense
even when it hurts so bad
I can boldly say...MY REDEEMER LIVES...
                                                                                                                                                                                             
AMEN.

Comments

Pastor Banks said…
Awesome piece. I read Habakkuk 3: 17 - 19 yesterday and even this morning. The true test of our faith is in the difficult times. You are a true woman of faith.
30 April 2013 at 11:54
maureen Ikpeme said…
When life is heavy and hard to take, go off by yourself. Enter the silence. Bow in prayer. Don’t ask questions:?Wait for hope to appear.?Don’t run from trouble. Take it full-face. The ‘worst’ is never the worst” (Lamentations 3:28 MSG).

30 April 2013 at 11:55
Ayo Rotimi said…
Hmmmm... His thoughts are always †ђξ best.
30 April 2013 at 11:55
Stella Agwor said…
Amen..
May we not fail the tests of our faith..
Thank you Pastor Banks.
@Maureen love that message bible..Hope surely does appear,weeping only endures for a night.
@Ayo..Amen
30 April 2013 at 12:01
nneky said…
God will definitely c u thru the storms of life because he promised to be with us through it all.Nneky
30 April 2013 at 12:27
Stella Agwor said…
Amen. ..thanks Nneky.God bless you
30 April 2013 at 12:29
Eno-obong said…
Hmmmmmmmmmm, I believe Hes closer than we can imagine.Even though now we can't see the foot print in the sand but my inner withness tells me Hes carrying us.The very print that is visible and "we are thinking it was two set of foot print how come is one?" this visible one are His own.This storms is not forever dear..................
30 April 2013 at 12:45
Efua said…
Don't know how you do it dear girl! Your life is giving glory to God and your faith is an inspiration to me. You are a blessing! You're making excellent use of the grace He has bestowed on you so abundantly. It is so evident that God has you in the palm of His hand. The rainbow will surely come after this storm. I promise you!
30 April 2013 at 12:50
Awo King-Hans said…
You're an encouragement to everyone of us dear, God bless and keep you and your family IJN.
30 April 2013 at 12:51
Stella Agwor said…
Amen dear sisters..He is our strength even in the storm.love you loads
30 April 2013 at 14:53
Joy said…
Thanking God for seeing you through thus far.
30 April 2013 at 15:58
Unknown said…
God will restore to you all that you have lost a hundred fold. Just as he blessed Abraham with immeasurable blessings because of his faith, may HE also reward you for your unwavering faith.
1 May 2013 at 07:10
Stella Agwor said…
Amen Nsifiok. .I receive it in Jesus name. .
1 May 2013 at 10:19
Unknown said…
I'm short of words...He knows better & He has brought you this far,He cannot leave nor forsake you at this time.Be strong & take curage,do not fear or be dismayed.For the Lord will give you double for all shames & your pain shall be completely erased.I pray for His strength all through this time & beyond.Luv u sis 7 God bless your husby too
2 May 2013 at 11:19
Unknown said…
Be strong and take courage,do not fear or be dismayed,for the Lord will go before you & His light will show you the way.This time,you are not alone,God is with you.For your shame,the lord will give you double honour IJN.I luv u sis & warm regards 2 ur husby.
2 May 2013 at 11:23
Anonymous said…
You really are an inspiration. I shed tears each time I read abt one losing a child....I cant even begin to imagine the pain, the tears but you have proven that in everything, we should always trust God for He knows best. May God continually give you and Bids the grace to bear this loss. He loves you and though one may not understand why now but someday by God's grace He will give shed light to our understanding. Stay strong cause He will never leave you nor forsake you.
6 May 2013 at 22:05
Unknown said…
You are an encouragement to the broken heart. May God continue to see you through. Stay Strong ma.
21 July 2013 at 09:35
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