I couldn't believe my eyes...
I stood staring at the result board as hot tears
formed in my eyes..
this is not me...this is not true..
Fail...
That wasn't all. Repeat the year was boldly written on the remark that followed
yes..me of all people...I began to go over my past academic feats,
like Paul in the Phil 3:5-6 I began to list to myself the fact that I was considered a
brain, I was assistant head girl, I was this and I was that...But it didn't change the big
Repeat the year that was staring back at me...
hmmmm... I had failed! every day for the next couple of years the image of a failure
was presented to me by my mind's eye.. I would walk on the road and feel every one was looking at me
saying here comes the girl that failed...O the shame, I felt it every day...
every stare, every remark..for me was laced with the belief that every one knew I had failed.
I could hear them saying in my mind" I thought she was intelligent yet she failed her first year in university"....
Yes I had failed ...Yes I was going to repeat the class
So what was I going to do about it..
as difficult as it was...I made my mind up...I had cried for too long
so what if I failed..so what if I repeat a class. I wasn't the first and I wasn't going to be the last..
I would stand up, wipe my tears, show up and do everything I needed to do to turn that Failure to a success. I began to speak to and remind myself of who I was in Christ.A success not a failure
I had to stop listening to the devil and his reminders and suggestions of failure.
Ah... depression be gone, Shame be gone, self doubt be gone,
Failure wasn't going to be my language
Failure wasn't going to be my attitude
Failure wasn't going to be my mentality
It was only an event...Just a happening and it wasn't going to become ME..
I held on to God's word in Isa 61:7
Instead of shame and dishonour, you will enjoy a double share of honour. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
(English Standard Version )
I began to encourage myself and speak over myself..
It took a conscious daily effort,but I got there in the end...
Dear child...I don't know which situation or event is screaming that you have failed
It might be your career , a mistake in your marriage, your finances, your business
It might even be your parents or the society screaming FAILURE at you...
Refuse to allow that define you...
I look back at my life now and God has indeed given me double for my sorrow..
Instead of shame.. HE has uplifted me.. HE has brought me to a place of honour.
GOD is given me speed daily and HE is not through with blessing me yet...Halleluiah
Make a decision today....Failure is only an event...don't let it define you
Square your shoulders..hold your head high up...show up, try again, make an effort
God would indeed give you double honour....
AMEN.
I stood staring at the result board as hot tears
formed in my eyes..
this is not me...this is not true..
Fail...
That wasn't all. Repeat the year was boldly written on the remark that followed
yes..me of all people...I began to go over my past academic feats,
like Paul in the Phil 3:5-6 I began to list to myself the fact that I was considered a
brain, I was assistant head girl, I was this and I was that...But it didn't change the big
Repeat the year that was staring back at me...
hmmmm... I had failed! every day for the next couple of years the image of a failure
was presented to me by my mind's eye.. I would walk on the road and feel every one was looking at me
saying here comes the girl that failed...O the shame, I felt it every day...
every stare, every remark..for me was laced with the belief that every one knew I had failed.
I could hear them saying in my mind" I thought she was intelligent yet she failed her first year in university"....
Yes I had failed ...Yes I was going to repeat the class
So what was I going to do about it..
as difficult as it was...I made my mind up...I had cried for too long
so what if I failed..so what if I repeat a class. I wasn't the first and I wasn't going to be the last..
I would stand up, wipe my tears, show up and do everything I needed to do to turn that Failure to a success. I began to speak to and remind myself of who I was in Christ.A success not a failure
I had to stop listening to the devil and his reminders and suggestions of failure.
Ah... depression be gone, Shame be gone, self doubt be gone,
Failure wasn't going to be my language
Failure wasn't going to be my attitude
Failure wasn't going to be my mentality
It was only an event...Just a happening and it wasn't going to become ME..
I held on to God's word in Isa 61:7
Instead of shame and dishonour, you will enjoy a double share of honour. You will possess a double portion of prosperity in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.
(English Standard Version )
I began to encourage myself and speak over myself..
It took a conscious daily effort,but I got there in the end...
Dear child...I don't know which situation or event is screaming that you have failed
It might be your career , a mistake in your marriage, your finances, your business
It might even be your parents or the society screaming FAILURE at you...
Refuse to allow that define you...
I look back at my life now and God has indeed given me double for my sorrow..
Instead of shame.. HE has uplifted me.. HE has brought me to a place of honour.
GOD is given me speed daily and HE is not through with blessing me yet...Halleluiah
Make a decision today....Failure is only an event...don't let it define you
Square your shoulders..hold your head high up...show up, try again, make an effort
God would indeed give you double honour....
AMEN.
Philippians 3:5-6
New International Version (NIV)
5 circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; 6 as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for righteousness based on the law, faultless.
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