Who are you?She Asked… I am Stella
No,I didn’t ask what your name was she replied.
I asked you, who you were.
I stared right back at her,Who am I ?
Why couldn’t I give her a ready answer,
The topic quickly changed and the conversation shifted to other things but
I left that meeting that day feeling conflicted
Who was I really?
I had gone to meet with a senior friend I admired and
I couldn’t even answer a straight question probably the most important question
One should know the answer too.
Can you blame me,I was 18 had just gotten into university
And I was still discovering who I really was.
Sooner rather than later, life tried to tell me who I was,
Life tried to define me and label me.
The most life defining experience for me was not loosing a mother at age 15
But it was at age 19; Failing my first year at university and having to repeat the year.
That for me was life changing, especially as I have never had to struggle to excel at anything...My name Stella Means;Shining star and that has pretty much been me.
But yet I had failed.
I woke up every day, staring at my reflection in the mirror
And I couldn’t quite describe who the girl staring right back at me was.
I wasn’t quite sure who she was.
Who was She?
Who was I….going by my circumstance at that moment Labelling myself a failure would have been justified.
But every time I looked in the mirror ,an image of a bold, confident, fearless and brave girl smiled at me.
The image reminded me of my 11 year old self.
I had applied a year early to go to what was the best secondary where I lived.
But there was a mistake with my state of origin,I got the placement but my dad insisted we reapply for a change of my details, it took forever and I missed going in that year.
I rewrote the entrance exam the following year and had a really high score, way above the cut off.
I was excited,I get to go to my dream school
My friends were a year ahead but it didn’t matter
The admission list was published and unfortunately this time my name wasn’t even on the list.
My mum convinced me to go to a state school and maybe write the exam again and transfer into 2nd year.
I resumed at the state school, spent one day there and decided that I had to do something.This was far from what I wanted.
I went to my dream school the next day after mum had dropped me off at the other school.
I matched straight to the principals office and demanded that I needed an explanation as to why I wasn’t given a place.The secretary asked, do you want to speak to the principal and I replied yes.
She knocked on the door and asked me to go in.
I didn’t even have a moment to think or process anything.
How can I help you? the principal asked.
My Name is Stella Echemi, I scored 520 in the common entrance but my name wasn’t on the list and I want to know why.
She smiled,I am sorry she said unfortunately the people at the exam board made an error on the admission list but, We are working on sending another list out soon.
Thank you for coming to speak to me but you would be notified soon.
It was over,I think it lasted less than 5 mins but I can still remember Her, that bold and fearless Stella.
The secretary shook my hand and said well done, and she never forgot me especially as I went on to become Deputy head girl 5years later.
So fast forward, the girl at 19 was being labelled a failure and yet every time I looked in the mirror the 11year old bold, confident,unashamed girl who wouldn't take no for an answer was peeking begging to be set loose.
Screaming you are worth more than this..
It took me 2 years of walking behind my shadow to really and truly embrace who I really was and allow God’s word sink in, take deep roots and begin to bear fruits in me.
Settling My identity crisis at age 19 has been so crucial to
Defining Who I am today.
And now regardless of what life throws at me..I stare it straight in the face and walk tall and confident of who I truly am.
So Who Am I?
I am first and foremost a child of the most high God.
I am precious in his sight and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am unique as there is no one like me,I am gifted, graceful and beautiful
I am a star and I shine brightly
I am strong, courageous and full of faith.
I carry God’s peace and his presence
I can do everything that God has laid in my heart to do
I am not a failure but a success
I am not disadvantaged for all things work for my good
I am fearless and unstoppable because the greater one indwell me
I am everything God says I am.
This is not a cliché confession
But this is truly who I am,And I Have come to realise that If we don’t define who we are according to God’s word,The world would define and label us according to the worlds standards.
You are not your situation.
You are not defined by what you have or don’t have
Your profession and education is not who you are, regardless of whatever title you go by.
Your relationship Status should not define you and neither should your limitations and challenges.
I dare you to tell me who you are.
It’s 2018…it’s a new year.
Do not let the experiences you had last year alter the picture you have of you.
Do not let the enemy lie to you.Do not believe anything he says you are or are not.
When you look into a mirror who do you see staring right back at you.
Who are you?
No,I didn’t ask what your name was she replied.
I asked you, who you were.
I stared right back at her,Who am I ?
Why couldn’t I give her a ready answer,
The topic quickly changed and the conversation shifted to other things but
I left that meeting that day feeling conflicted
Who was I really?
I had gone to meet with a senior friend I admired and
I couldn’t even answer a straight question probably the most important question
One should know the answer too.
Can you blame me,I was 18 had just gotten into university
And I was still discovering who I really was.
Sooner rather than later, life tried to tell me who I was,
Life tried to define me and label me.
The most life defining experience for me was not loosing a mother at age 15
But it was at age 19; Failing my first year at university and having to repeat the year.
That for me was life changing, especially as I have never had to struggle to excel at anything...My name Stella Means;Shining star and that has pretty much been me.
But yet I had failed.
I woke up every day, staring at my reflection in the mirror
And I couldn’t quite describe who the girl staring right back at me was.
I wasn’t quite sure who she was.
Who was She?
Who was I….going by my circumstance at that moment Labelling myself a failure would have been justified.
But every time I looked in the mirror ,an image of a bold, confident, fearless and brave girl smiled at me.
The image reminded me of my 11 year old self.
I had applied a year early to go to what was the best secondary where I lived.
But there was a mistake with my state of origin,I got the placement but my dad insisted we reapply for a change of my details, it took forever and I missed going in that year.
I rewrote the entrance exam the following year and had a really high score, way above the cut off.
I was excited,I get to go to my dream school
My friends were a year ahead but it didn’t matter
The admission list was published and unfortunately this time my name wasn’t even on the list.
My mum convinced me to go to a state school and maybe write the exam again and transfer into 2nd year.
I resumed at the state school, spent one day there and decided that I had to do something.This was far from what I wanted.
I went to my dream school the next day after mum had dropped me off at the other school.
I matched straight to the principals office and demanded that I needed an explanation as to why I wasn’t given a place.The secretary asked, do you want to speak to the principal and I replied yes.
She knocked on the door and asked me to go in.
I didn’t even have a moment to think or process anything.
How can I help you? the principal asked.
My Name is Stella Echemi, I scored 520 in the common entrance but my name wasn’t on the list and I want to know why.
She smiled,I am sorry she said unfortunately the people at the exam board made an error on the admission list but, We are working on sending another list out soon.
Thank you for coming to speak to me but you would be notified soon.
It was over,I think it lasted less than 5 mins but I can still remember Her, that bold and fearless Stella.
The secretary shook my hand and said well done, and she never forgot me especially as I went on to become Deputy head girl 5years later.
So fast forward, the girl at 19 was being labelled a failure and yet every time I looked in the mirror the 11year old bold, confident,unashamed girl who wouldn't take no for an answer was peeking begging to be set loose.
Screaming you are worth more than this..
It took me 2 years of walking behind my shadow to really and truly embrace who I really was and allow God’s word sink in, take deep roots and begin to bear fruits in me.
Settling My identity crisis at age 19 has been so crucial to
Defining Who I am today.
And now regardless of what life throws at me..I stare it straight in the face and walk tall and confident of who I truly am.
So Who Am I?
I am first and foremost a child of the most high God.
I am precious in his sight and I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am unique as there is no one like me,I am gifted, graceful and beautiful
I am a star and I shine brightly
I am strong, courageous and full of faith.
I carry God’s peace and his presence
I can do everything that God has laid in my heart to do
I am not a failure but a success
I am not disadvantaged for all things work for my good
I am fearless and unstoppable because the greater one indwell me
I am everything God says I am.
This is not a cliché confession
But this is truly who I am,And I Have come to realise that If we don’t define who we are according to God’s word,The world would define and label us according to the worlds standards.
You are not your situation.
You are not defined by what you have or don’t have
Your profession and education is not who you are, regardless of whatever title you go by.
Your relationship Status should not define you and neither should your limitations and challenges.
I dare you to tell me who you are.
It’s 2018…it’s a new year.
Do not let the experiences you had last year alter the picture you have of you.
Do not let the enemy lie to you.Do not believe anything he says you are or are not.
When you look into a mirror who do you see staring right back at you.
Who are you?
Comments
Thanks for sharing this, Stella. It was great to see your message again after several months (?).
Thank you Sis,God bless your heart.