She would have been 6 today....
I can only imagine...
The feeling I felt when I held her for the 1st time...
My first born child,Very surreal
I couldn’t believe such a beautiful gift had been given to me.
Little did I know that this gift would change my life, our lives forever.
She would have been 6 today...
As I look back on all that has happened this past 6years
My heart is truly full of gratitude.
That God chose to enrich our lives with this child
That God chose to trust us with this experience
I would never have thought in my wildest dreams as I shared the news of my pregnancy with my dear husband that summer of 2011, that months after her birth we would be confronted with news that our precious perfect gift from God had an incurable Genetic condition and that she was going to die.
How do you process that...
How do you get on your knees and trust God through that
How do you still love and serve God in spite of this...
How do you deal with the questions,rage,pain,heart ache and uncertainties that come with that.
I remember that trip to Great ormond Street Hospital( A children’s specialist Hospital)
The consultant spoke so casually,”it’s not your fault or his fault or God’s fault, but she is going to die”.
Those words cut through my spine and hurt so deep...
No way...God that couldn’t possibly be true I reasoned.
All I could feel, was God’s peace..carrying us through that season...
Many months went by as we stood in faith believing God’s report over that consultant’s report.
Many months where I struggled to see through my tears, yet Praise was My only forte.
I believed,I prayed and I praised.
All who encountered me thought I was crazy...
Yet,She Died.......
She took her last breaths In my arms
And It hit me,A wave of pain so deep I thought I would drown in it...
Yet I could feel God comforting me,Right there in my lowest point
He was right there holding me.I felt God hugging 🤗 me and loving me.
Honestly I didn’t know what my life was going to be like from then on...
I didn’t know if I would still wear a smile everyday
I didn’t know if my heart would stop hurting...
Ah...It was painful..I know what it feels like to be helplessly in pain...
But I chose not to dwell there...because a time comes when our pain becomes comfortable and when our pain becomes our identity.
I chose to trust God to take it away.
I let go of my pain day by day
And God gave me hope, peace and joy...
She would have been 6 today
And As I write about her,I have a big smile on my face
And my heart is truly thankful for the experience
Because God has used this somewhat ugly experience to enrich my life
And He has equipped me to some How offer encouragement and hope to others who have lost a Child or loved one
He has give me the oil of gladness for mourning and beauty for ashes indeed.
The sorrow and the pain are a distant memory.
As 2017 draws to a close,
Decide not to end the year the same,
Regardless of who and what you have lost..
God is able to heal and mend every hurt...
Trust him with your pain and lay it at his feet.
Decide to not focus on your pain and reach out and help someone else
Inspite of how you feel.
Encourage someone else and Give hope to that person who is down and out.
Do not let your own pain go to waste So God can be glorified.
Joy truly does come in the morning.
Your night season would soon be over.
Many Blessings..
@TWOF
Ps....feel free to share and leave a comment in the comment box 📦
If you are hurting and would like to talk please send an email to thiswomanoffaith@yahoo.com
I can only imagine...
The feeling I felt when I held her for the 1st time...
My first born child,Very surreal
I couldn’t believe such a beautiful gift had been given to me.
Little did I know that this gift would change my life, our lives forever.
She would have been 6 today...
As I look back on all that has happened this past 6years
My heart is truly full of gratitude.
That God chose to enrich our lives with this child
That God chose to trust us with this experience
I would never have thought in my wildest dreams as I shared the news of my pregnancy with my dear husband that summer of 2011, that months after her birth we would be confronted with news that our precious perfect gift from God had an incurable Genetic condition and that she was going to die.
How do you process that...
How do you get on your knees and trust God through that
How do you still love and serve God in spite of this...
How do you deal with the questions,rage,pain,heart ache and uncertainties that come with that.
I remember that trip to Great ormond Street Hospital( A children’s specialist Hospital)
The consultant spoke so casually,”it’s not your fault or his fault or God’s fault, but she is going to die”.
Those words cut through my spine and hurt so deep...
No way...God that couldn’t possibly be true I reasoned.
All I could feel, was God’s peace..carrying us through that season...
Many months went by as we stood in faith believing God’s report over that consultant’s report.
Many months where I struggled to see through my tears, yet Praise was My only forte.
I believed,I prayed and I praised.
All who encountered me thought I was crazy...
Yet,She Died.......
She took her last breaths In my arms
And It hit me,A wave of pain so deep I thought I would drown in it...
Yet I could feel God comforting me,Right there in my lowest point
He was right there holding me.I felt God hugging 🤗 me and loving me.
Honestly I didn’t know what my life was going to be like from then on...
I didn’t know if I would still wear a smile everyday
I didn’t know if my heart would stop hurting...
Ah...It was painful..I know what it feels like to be helplessly in pain...
But I chose not to dwell there...because a time comes when our pain becomes comfortable and when our pain becomes our identity.
I chose to trust God to take it away.
I let go of my pain day by day
And God gave me hope, peace and joy...
She would have been 6 today
And As I write about her,I have a big smile on my face
And my heart is truly thankful for the experience
Because God has used this somewhat ugly experience to enrich my life
And He has equipped me to some How offer encouragement and hope to others who have lost a Child or loved one
He has give me the oil of gladness for mourning and beauty for ashes indeed.
The sorrow and the pain are a distant memory.
As 2017 draws to a close,
Decide not to end the year the same,
Regardless of who and what you have lost..
God is able to heal and mend every hurt...
Trust him with your pain and lay it at his feet.
Decide to not focus on your pain and reach out and help someone else
Inspite of how you feel.
Encourage someone else and Give hope to that person who is down and out.
Do not let your own pain go to waste So God can be glorified.
Joy truly does come in the morning.
Your night season would soon be over.
Many Blessings..
@TWOF
Ps....feel free to share and leave a comment in the comment box 📦
If you are hurting and would like to talk please send an email to thiswomanoffaith@yahoo.com
Comments
You believed for the survival of your daughter till the end , and when it was not to be you allowed God to be God , not knowing why God should give you this beautiful gift then allow her to be taken from you , you chose not to remain in pain .
God was able to comfort you and help you get through it whilst still being God in your life.
I believe that God allows things to happen us for His Greater Glory to be shown in our lives .
And that is so of your life....
God saw you through the very low periods , gave you comfort in knowing that your precious daughter is at peace and then enriched your lives with two beautiful children ..
That is The unique God we serve!
Thank you so much ma for your comment and encouraging word.We love you.God bless you.
It is well. Let me use this medium to wish you and your beautiful family a most fruitful new year ahead. God bless you richly ma.
I had been constantly reminding God that I would not want to enter 2018 jobless as I had been seeking employment for quite some months now. I had dreaded the likelihood. Hence since the beginning of the last week of the year when it became apparent that this might happen despite all my fervent prayers, I had somewhat grown 'cold' towards the Lord for not answering my prayers. I started recounting the few opportunities I had lost in getting a high-paying job and why the Lord allowed this. I felt so disappointed that I lacked the drive to look forward to any improvement in the oncoming year. But this post really encourage me...delay is not denial. It reminds me that letting go of our loss and pains can easily usher us into His divine peace and comfort, and give us the drive to completely trust in Him.
God bless you Sis!