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Becoming...Vulnerable!

In 2012,I had a strong burden to write..
I  heard it clearly in my spirit
Write…Write about your struggles and victories
Write.

I remember shaking my head…but the burden wouldn’t go,
I mustered the courage and wrote a post on a blogging platform
I sat and then I waited for the response
Oh my,It was far from what I expected .. I got abused and sworn at
I deleted my account immediately and willed the voice in my head telling me to blog to stay silent.
After much ado, this woman of faith blog was birthed in March,2013
One of the scariest things I have had to do..

This time around regardless of how I was going to be perceived or received
I knew I had to do it for God was leading me to share my faith walk with no inhibitions, to share my real struggles, to be open and vulnerable so His glory, His grace and His Mercy could be seen through me.
He was asking me to be real, flawed, imperfect so His perfection could express itself through me.
I have learnt that it takes a certain kind of grace to be vulnerable, to show your scars so others can see.. to tell your truth so others can be free..
To live with no falsehood or pretence, just living life as one helped by God.

I am also learning that, we all are facing struggles, challenges and being vulnerable enough to share your pain, insecurities ,struggles with a brother doesn’t make you weak but it gives them an opportunity to see God’s grace at work in your life.
Very recently, I went through a really rough season,
And a dear friend of mine was there every step of the way.
She saw me at my very lowest and when God eventually turned things around she said something to me:
“She said, next time I go through a challenge, I would remember your experience  and I would not give up, because I was there, I saw everything as it happened and the same God that came through for you, would come through for me too.”
Isn’t it powerful that when we live our lives as openly and honestly as we could.
The people around us would be inspired by how we went through our testing process
It’s not just about the testimony…yes the testimony would definitely come because God is faithful
But most importantly it’s the way you behaved during the test that is most important.

You see, when Jesus carried his cross all the way to Calvary.
He didn’t carry it at night time..He didn’t hide..He couldn’t
All could see him…in-fact, He, was laughed at and mocked.
And I guess that’s why we find it hard to be open…to share our burdens because unfortunately
It is human nature to judge, mock, laugh and gossip .. regardless of what is going on in their own lives.
Truth is we all have a cross but it is so easy to focus on someone else’s cross. Perhaps if we all were real, it would make us more compassionate and loving, slower to judge or condemn because we were focused on carrying our cross and not hiding it…

Or perhaps it could be pride stopping us
I struggled with pride…how were people going to look at me, if I wrote about being broke, or jobless  or told them of my worries..what would people say about me…I have learnt that dying to self was going to cost me my pride, my self image…I was going to have to redefine who I was and it was not going to be  based on what I had or didn’t have or by the standards of men but on who God said I was.
Every post, I have shared has stripped me of something and I know this is only the beginning
And I pray that God would help me and humble every step of the way.


To be honest, some battles cannot be shared with everyone and we must be discerning
Of who we tell what to…and the timing of when we share things.
That being said, your helpers are always around you and we have to be careful not let our pride, or fear of being hurt stop our helpers from locating us.
I also love how easy it is to sieve people that come close to me.. let’s admit it..
Not every one would stick it out with you during a season of testing and being open and real helps
Differentiate the real allies, your core people from the ones who are just around you for the frills
To be able to carry your cross well, you would need to drop all baggage and unnecessary load especially relationships that are not destined to help you as you carry your cross.


A lady shared with me a challenge she was facing and I kept nodding “ me too” you mean you went through the same thing, yes I replied with a wide grin,I too had had a similar experience and as I shared my testimony with her..faith welled up on her inside.
There is so much power in that Phrase “ Me too”
Me too can evoke a certain kind of comfort, a reassurance of some sort.
“Me too” It is such a liberating word.
Because if you went through and have come out with a testimony
It means, I would be fine too..
I wonder how many people would have been encouraged if we were real, open and vulnerable.


I pray this post invokes a desire in you to be honest in your walk God
To live unashamedly every day and to not care what people thought of you, rather to live a life that
gives God glory.
To carry your cross, knowing that His strength is made perfect in your weakness
The next time someone asks you how you are, I pray that beyond the I am fine..you would be bold enough to show your scars and battle wounds for the things you want to hide are the things God wants to use.
I pray you have the boldness to ask for help when you need it and not feel the need to put up a front.
I pray you are more gracious and compassionate to your brother or sister as they wade the storms of life bearing in mind that you too are also on a journey.
Remember it’s not just about the testimony but who you have become after the test.
May I be encouraged, inspired by the way, you are carrying your cross.


God bless you.


Matthew 16:24-26 English Standard Version (ESV)

Then Jesus told his disciples, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?

James 1:2-4 The Message (MSG)

 Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colours. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well-developed, not deficient in any way.



Comments

Elage Ecoma said…
I really connect with the part that says you have to be discerning about who you share what with. Thanks for sharing.

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